Ever since he was a young boy
He loved them damn machines
From K-mart down to Big Lots
He picked them suckers clean
He only lived for chewin'
won't eat food at all
That one really dumb kid
Sure only eats gumballs
He stands like a sapling
He's gettin pretty lean
Chewing on his gumballs
Hey have some Ovaltine
I can't say he's the keenest
shopper in the mall
That one really dumb kid
Sure only eats gumballs
He's a gumball wizard
It's just beyond belief
A gumball wizard's got
Such unsightly teeth
Why do you think he does it?
Who the hell cares?
Maybe he was dropped on his head....
When we have him for dinner
It just means more for us
His dentist drives Ferraris
His parents take the bus
He blows the biggest bubbles
His brain is really small
That one really dumb kid
Sure only eats gumballs
I thought I was
A pretty stupid guy
At least I know that if
you don't eat you die
Even as he's barely conscious
He won't touch a snack
He's chompin on a gumball
Flat there on his back
And if you took it from him
I know you'd see him crawl
That one really dumb kid
Sure only eats gumballs
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